Under-The-Shirt Politics...

I have always looked on Victoria’s Secret ads with a totally puzzled and fairly disgusted eye. Their catalogues are famous the world over as more likely to be found covered with not-mysterious stains under a teenage boy’s bed than with pages hopefully turned down on the average woman’s kitchen table. ‘Victoria Secret model’ is synonymous with ‘Most Beautiful Women in the World’ airbrushed to a whole new level of terrifying perfection. ‘Angel’ is a laughable and insulting term for these bra-and-panties clad gym-and-salad gorging semi-humans. In a sense, however, it didn’t matter. It is an American institution; it is the American way. It was across the pond and avoidable.

But now, like all things, the inevitable American influence has washed up on our shores in the form of La Senza’s Cup-Sized Choir. Seriously, who are they trying to sell to? Boyfriends and husbands? Not only appealing to the lowest-common-denominator of the male gender, but also a slap-in-the-face Christmas gift. ‘Honey, I saw boobs on TV and thought buying the product for you would make you more desirable…’. Well Merry Fucking Christmas to you too! Why don’t I book you in for a penis enlargement?

Why is women’s underwear advertised this way? In our lifetimes, probably 90% of our underwear ownership is about comfort, support and fit. About US! 10% is about looking hot for some luck guy. If we put the power of purchase in the hands of men, what is left? We’ll all be walking around with scraps of fabric up our asses and nipple tassels under our work shirts…

There is a whole other post to be written about the fact that there is only one store in the UK that sells bras made in real sizes. Any woman who has been measured by a professional knows that hardly anyone is actually a 34B. For now, though, I ask you, WHY WHY WHY is our underwear being sold to us via men? Why is the sexy 10% of our underwear needs the only part being pitched to us?

In closing, I should make it abundantly clear that I absolutely love wearing hot underwear, the objects themselves are not anti-feminist, but I don’t see how these ads can be taken any other way…

Girl Crush Alert: Flavia de Oliveira

Why? Because she has sex in her eyes. So hot!

The Sense of Scent

Perfume is a franchise now. It seems as if a waning B-list career can be slightly prolonged by the production of a generic, gaudy-colored perfume bottle filled with sickly sweet vanilla stench.

However, smell, as a sense, is underrated. In many ways, our smell is the most attractive thing about us - our pheromones betray our sexual availability before we've even made eye contact with the cute guy at the bar (or so The Scientists say). I mean, just look at Edward Cullen! One whiff of Bella and he's practically chomping on her neck!

image from fashiongonerogue

The scent we choose to wear say something about us. Perfume can leave a subconscious impression better than any fluttering of the eyelashes. We all associate certain smells with people or events, some have the power to revolt and some the power to induce intense nostalgia.

As well as being part of our sexuality, smell is also an intricate part of our fashion. We're drawn to different smells, some musky, some sweet, some floral, some fruity... It says something about each one of us.

I've been wearing Hermes Eau D'Orange Verte for a couple of years... Perhaps that tells you something about me!

No elegance is possible without perfume. It is the unseen, unforgettable, ultimate accessory of fashion that heralds your arrival and prolongs your departure

— Coco Chanel